


Intrusive Thoughts

by Korra_n_stuff



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling, F/F, Fingering, First Time, First chapter is mostly fluff and pretty tame, Fluff, Making Out, Smut, second chapter is more smutty!, some tiddies in here too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:21:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21544438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Korra_n_stuff/pseuds/Korra_n_stuff
Summary: Beau and Jester's first time having an intimate moment is fraught with unwanted anxiety and commentary from the little devil in Jester's head.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 15
Kudos: 148





	1. Anxiety’s Callin’ In My Head

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic that I've posted online! Please leave comments or anything ya want! I'd love to hear what people think!
> 
> This story can kinda sit anywhere in the CR timeline that you want it to, it's just meant to be a fun standalone piece!
> 
> (Also, I have no beta, I'm sorry, we die like men)

Jester had never done this before. Not the kissing; she’d kissed plenty of people. Hell, this wasn’t even the first woman she’d kissed. But she’d never gotten past the kissing and the touching. Past that was what scared her the most.

Beau had done this dance plenty of times, but Jester felt like she’d been born yesterday.

She wasn’t aware of the softness of Beau’s hands on her, of her own toes curling, of the texture of the clothes they wore that were slowly coming off. Jester only could think of the millions of little thoughts zipping through her mind. She anxiously pulled her lips back, and felt Beau reach again to grasp them with her own.

 _Oh god, I bet I’m bad at kissing, why did I move my lips like that?_ Beau cupped Jester’s head in one of her hands, a thumb on her cheek. _What the hell, she’s such a natural, she’s graceful, and I’m siting here like a statue._ Jester panicked and ran her hand up Beau’s thigh, feeling muscles tense. _Shit, I’m pretty sure I just scratched her leg by accident! I only wanted to grab her ass…_

Suddenly Beau’s eyes opened and they separated from their kiss, and Jester could only stare dumbfounded into her blue eyes, and Jester felt she had to speak.

“You know, your eyes are like little gum balls.” She said aloud, and her face flushed when she realized how stupid she must have sounded. “I meeeaan, like, a cute way! I probably could have said it a little cuter…”

Beau just laughed, but Jester’s face was still flush and she bit her lip in embarrassment.

“Jester, as cute as that face you’re doing is, I can’t kiss you while you do it.”

“ _Technically_ , you could, but it’d be pretty bad, ya know.”

Beau smiled and pulled off her top, and Jester involuntarily released her lip from her teeth at the sight. Beau dove in again. Jester closed her eyes as they kissed, and felt herself wanting to grimace.

_She’s right, stupid, why did you even make that face, I bet you looked ridiculous! Just focus on kissing her, geez. Don’t ruin your night!_

Jester couldn’t see her clothes coming off, and she was so preoccupied with her thoughts she didn’t feel it either until the cool night air from the window, and Beau’s fingers, ran over her perked nipples.

Time was strange as Jester was yanked from the immediate situation to her own nagging thoughts, and everything happened like a tape being slowed and sped up. Things slowed down and Jester’s inner thought berated her for mistakes, but Beau kept going and time sped up again. Before Jester knew it, everything was over, and both of them felt their muscles retracting like a spring that had been pulled to its limit and then released.

They laid together on the couch for hours afterward. Beau was asleep on Jesters chest with her legs hanging off the couch at an odd angle, but Jester was awake, and both of them were wrapped in a blanket, and nothing else.

 _Geez, I bet she thinks I was an idiot! What the hell was I even doing?_ She could only think of her lackluster kissing and embarrassment at being left in nothing but her underwear, before that too came off. _I should have worn cuter undies, not the ones with the hamster unicorns! I bet I looked like a goof!_

Jester was getting irritated with herself. She only wanted to enjoy the night, but the fear of fucking up was always there. The sweetness of their night together was over shadowed with the sourness of her perceived mistakes, and together they mixed to a disappointingly bitter taste.

Jester found herself asleep soon, and when she closed her eyes, she found she only thought of the look that she and Beau had shared. She hoped that was the sort of thing Beau remembered too, above all else.


	2. Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beau and Jester spent another night together, and things get a little more intense after a heart to heart conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little more smutty than the last! Ye have been warned! But really, this chapter came about after I saw the response to chapter one, so I hope everyone likes this one too.
> 
> Please comment and leave Kudos if you like this!
> 
> (Once again I have no beta, please forgive any small errors)

Beau had come up to Jester’s room at the Chateau that night just as she’d asked her to. They were in town for a few days, and Jester had almost begged her to come spend a night with her, even though it had only been just a day ago since their last night together. She had worried a bit, about what the rest of the Nein would think. Not about her and Jester overall, but rather about how fast they might seem to be moving. Normally Beau would scoff at the idea of being concerned about what people thought of who she was sleeping with, but this was different. Jester was different.

They had planned for a night of drawing tattoo designs and eating cookies that Jester had baked. Sprinkle had even had a cookie or two before Jester carried him off to spend the night with Caduceus in the room above theirs. All Beau wanted was to unwind, and though Jester could be a bit too high energy for proper unwinding, Beau never felt more relaxed than when she was with Jester.

Cookies and painting hadn’t lasted long though. They’d blown through those by the time the night had truly fallen, and that led into Beau cuddling Jester as she read chapters from one of her copper-store romance novels. Soon though, they’d put the books aside, and Jester had snuggled closer to Beau. Jester turned, and was almost laying on top of Beau when she slowly brought her face close to Beau’s. Before she knew it, Jesters lips were on hers.

Beau almost reached down to pull at the hem of Jester’s shirt, but found Jester’s hands were already on her chest. With a fresh rush of color to her face, Beau leaned into Jesters hands and let her own hand fall away from the shirt.

“You’re—“ Beau began between kisses, but was cut off by another deep kiss. “—very forward tonight.”

Jester took a momentary pause from the kissing. “Well, I just, ah, wanted to show you a good time, you know?”

“I always have a good time with you tho-ooohhh.” Beau was again cut off, this time by Jester’s hands as they moved her vest aside and rubbed her thumbs at the peak of her nipples through her shirt.

“I just thought I’d take the lead for once, maybe,” Jester said, kissing Beau once again before again pulling back to speak. This time, to Beau’s disappointment, Jester’s hands pulled back as well. “Is—is that okay?”

Beau immediately reached out and pulled Jester’s hand back to her chest. “Of course.”

They kissed again, and Beau closed her eyes as they did. Jester’s hand now reached down to Beau’s waist, tucking her thumbs into Beau’s pants and pulling. Beau’s legs raised almost automatically, allowing Jester to remove the pants, but Beau opened her eyes when Jester pulled away again. She pulled at the waistband, but with the positions they were seemed to be too awkward to complete the motion.

Beau propped herself up, leaning against the pillows behind her to get her ass out from under not only her pants, but underwear as well it seemed.

“Damn, I’ve never been so turned on by someone awkwardly taking my pants off.” Beau said with a crooked smile.

Jester’s face fell unexpectedly. “Oh balls, I don’t mean to be awkward.” She said, almost as if to herself. Jester still struggled to pull her garments the remaining way past Beau’s knees, and Beau finally intervened to shimmy them off of her feet herself.

Jester eagerly leaned in again, and now Beau began to pull at Jester’s clothes as well. “You don’t gotta apologize.” Beau told her, and Jester again made a face. “What is it?”

Jester stopped all together now. Her face scrunched into an expression of irritated-disappointment. Beau reached out and grabbed Jester’s hand.

“I’m sorry, I don’t wanna be awkward with you, Beau. I—“ Jester looked down at Beau’s hand in hers.

“Yeah?”

Jester took a deep breath, held it, and then seemed to let it spill out all at once. ”Ireadaboutallthesepeoplewhodothingsosmoothlyandyoudidthingssosmoothlylasttimeand—“

“—Whoa whoa, Jes, hold on. It’s okay, go slow.” Beau interrupted. Jester gave a smile and seemed to relax a little. Beau, on the other hand, was tense with anticipation. Something was really eating at Jester, and Beau hadn’t quite seen this side of her before. At least not concerning their relationship. It was complicated now, and normally Beau would shy away from complicated. But Jester was different.

“I had hoped maybe I could take a bit of the lead with us. You’re so experienced and I was worried that last time I was too much of a goof and maybe you thought I was making a buncha dumb moves.”

Beau didn’t respond for a moment, her mouth slightly agape. She wasn’t even sure exactly what Jester was talking about. It hadn’t been the face she’d made, right? Or the comment about Beau’s eyes? No; all of that was the exact kinda stuff she loved about Jester.

“I didn’t even notice any ‘mistakes’ honestly. Like, I thought you did great, I mean, like four times you made me org—“

“You really didn’t notice anything?” Not even my underwear with the hamster unicorns?” Jester asked, and her free hand fell to rest on Beau’s thigh, and Beau was reminded of just how naked she was from the waist down right now.

“I think I was too busy throwing them off the couch to realize. And besides, you like that pair of underwear, theres nothing wrong with ‘em. There’s nothing wrong with you, Jester. Whatever goofy stuff you’re afraid of, just let it happen. I’m with you because of you.” Beau replied, feeling the warmth of Jester’s fingers on her leg and feeling hot around the collar. She almost gasped in excited surprise when Jester leaned close to her, one hand holding Beau’s own, and her other sliding up her thigh and stopping just shy of between her legs. Jester kissed her again, and Beau melted with the contact. She tried to push her hips forward, to move Jester’s hand a little higher herself, but Jester kept her hand firmly on just Beau’s thigh.

“I tried to say before that I wanted to be all smooth and sexy and stuff like in the books I read, but this is much better than any of that. There’s never any real connection in those, just a lot of saucy stuff.” Jester said.

“The best is connection and saucy stuff.” Beau commented. She loosened her hand from Jester’s, and began unbuttoning Jester’s shirt. She made it all the way down the buttons of her shirt as they kissed again, their eyes fluttered open and closed to look at each other between kisses. Just as she’d finished the shirt buttons, Beau moved onto the button of Jester’s pants and reached in and around to grab her girlfriends butt.

“I think I agree with you.” Jester replied breathily.

With that, Beau let out a silent gasp as Jester finally put her fingers between her legs, drawing lazy circles around Beau’s clit. Her fingers clenched on Jester’s ass, and she let out a whimper as Beau kneaded her. Jester’s pants were also soon around her ankles, just as Beau’s hand been, and Beau was now making progress on Jester’s shirt. She groped at Jester’s heavy breasts when she felt a wave of pleasure between her legs as Jester now pressed her clit with her palm and curled two fingers inside her. Beau could tell Jester’s hand was drenched from her, and though Jester may not have had the experience that some of Beau’s other partners had, she was closer to climaxing now than she’d ever been with anyone else.

Later, as they had been just a few nights before, Jester and Beau found themselves naked and entwined. The air was salty with sweat and the sea, and Beau, along with Jester, was still breathing heavy breaths and cooling down after a final explosive end to their night. Sleep soon followed, and Beau hoped she would dream of Jester smiling at her, laying naked with her, joking with her, fighting alongside her, or anything in between.


End file.
